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ABC of Golf
A is for apron, just short of the pin, from which you can often take four to get in.
B is for ball, dimpled pellet of rubber, that`s smacked by the champions, hacked by the dubber.
C is for caddy, who trudges the course, with a burden of clubs that would weary a horse.
D is for dub, poor misguided beginner, with visions of someday becoming a winner.
E is for exercise, needless to pay for, yet all that some golfers insist that they play for.
F is for fairway, inclined to be narrow and bordered by bad lands that chill to the marrow.
G is for green, that`s constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.
H is for handicap, sweeter than candy, a cap that, when needed, comes in very handi.
J is for jitters, a state you and I get in when it takes a two-footer to tie.
K is for knees, that unhappily tend each year to get harder and harder to bend.
L is for locker, which clothes that are kept in come out of as wrinkied as if they’d been slept in.
M is for money, expended with ease on lessons and golf carts and golf balls and fees.
N is for nineteeth, the hole that´s the best, and the reason some golfers play all of the rest..
O is for open, the tourney of stars, who shoot mostly eagles and birdies and pars.
P is for par, which is golfers perfection, achieved ba a union of length and direction.
Q is for quiet, desired when you putt up, a time when the courteous clammily shut up.
R is for rough, a weird sprcies of jungle, into which you go traipsing whenever you bungle.
S is for score, the result of addition, which often drives golfers to ping-pong and fishing.
V is for virtue, which golfers possess, compared whith most men, neither more nor yet less.
W is for weather, whose downpouring leaks end most often on Monday, the day after week ends.
X is for x-mas, when. as a surprise, a dozen new balls would do better than ties.
Y is for yell, which when driving up onto a green full players, you`d better do pronto.
Z is for zero, the number of times a poet can work the word “golf” into rhymes.
aus “golf is a four letter word”
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